English is (not) fun!

Mamie mai bpen kruu (Mamie is not a teacher). I’ve said this so many times it’s almost become part of my standard PCV introduction.  Everyone wants me to teach English and everyone thinks I’m here to do just that.  It doesn’t help that every other farang in the area is here to teach English, including another male PCV that lives close to me (I’m convinced most people are somewhat disappointed that they got me instead of him; not only is he a white male, he’s actually a teacher and here to help teach English).  Once a week I teach English at the SAO (subdistrict administration organization – the government building that’s kind of responsible for me here).  It’s an hour lesson every Wednesday and the class includes a various mix of teachers, SAO officers and a few other people.  They often seem as excited to be in the class as I am to be teaching it (which is to say there is no excitement).  I do my best to psych myself up every week and prepare a fun, engaging, informative class, but sometimes it’s hard to teach English to a class of 30 people all by myself in a way that’s fun and engaging and informative all at once (also did I mention I’m not a teacher?). 

Kids learn English when they start school here.  Every time I go to a school I get the standard greeting, ‘Good morning teacher! How are you today? I am fine’.  I’m fairly certain they don’t know what any of this means, as they often run through the whole thing without pausing for a response: “good morning teacher!  How are you today? I am fine thank you and you?” or some variation of that.  It’s cute, but a little disheartening that they learn this so young, repeating it every day and yet many of them don’t know what they’re saying or when to say it (even adults sometimes will say ‘good morning’ to me at 6pm, or as I’m riding my bike I’ll hear a group of kids screaming ‘goodbye!’ at me as I approach them).  In these visits to the local schools I’ve made sure to explain my role as a Youth in Development volunteer while also repeating that I’m not a teacher.  I had a lovely conversation with a teacher at one school about this, and just after I thought she had an understanding of what I’m trying to do here, she goes in front of all of the students who had assembled together at the end of the day and tells them about me.  ‘We have a teacher here from America and she’s going to teach you English!’ Facepalm.

After PST I knew that teaching English would likely be part of everything I do, and I’m more than happy to incorporate it into the activities I’m involved in.  I quickly realized that it’ll be a struggle to get any projects started that are more than just teaching English – at least for a while.  I’ve gone past the point of frustration sometimes when I have the ‘Mamie is not a teacher’ conversation.  I tell them this and they laugh at me and call me a teacher.  I tell them about what I’ve done in America and what I can do here and they look at me like I’m an idiot (and then ask when I’m available to teach English).  They put me in front of a class of students, leave the room and insist that I’m not teaching, I’m just talking with the students – in English. 

I appreciate their desire to learn English.  I realize that ASEAN (Association of South Eastern Asian Nations) is important.  I understand that everyone is preparing for the launch of the AEC (ASEAN Economic Community) in 2015 and learning English will be helpful for so many reasons.  But that’s not what I’m here for, and my community was (supposed to be) well aware of my role before I showed up.  If I wanted to teach English I wouldn’t have joined the Peace Corps.  I would have taken a job that paid me to teach English instead of choosing to volunteer for 27 months.  I’ve readjusted my expectations about my service several times over the past 5 months.  There’s a difference between the wild, infinite ambitions I dreamt of prior to coming here and the reality of my service now that I’m here.  This isn’t to say that I’m not still ambitious – it’s just that now I have more realistic ambitions based on the realities of my situation, community, and resources.  My thus-far short career in social work has taught me the importance of meeting people where they are.  Look at the situation as it exists, not as you think it should be.  You can’t charge in with your ideas of what you think is important without talking to the people involved and finding out what’s important to them first – you’ll never accomplish anything if you do.  I’ve done this before and learned a lot from it every time.  I did this during my field placements in grad school on an individual and community level and throughout the 3 years after grad school that I spent working in initially unfamiliar neighborhoods on the southside of Chicago.  The process of doing this in a new community, in a foreign country and a foreign language will take many months to accomplish, I have no doubt.  In the past couple months I’ve been saying yes to every opportunity and having conversations with everyone that I can.  I’m teaching English because so many people want to learn and I have the time to do so right now.  I also incorporate my own agenda, teaching about American culture or giving them words other than ‘fine’ to explain how they’re feeling today.  I’m also building relationships with these people that I hope will turn into other possibilities down the road.  There’s a reason I’m here for 2 years.  I can’t expect to start an amazing, life-changing project a few months in (although I can’t help but secretly hope that my small Tuesday youth group will turn into a spectacularly successful 2 year project).  So for now, I teach a little English sometimes and remind everyone ‘Mamie mai bpen kruu’.  

Rabies Roadtrip

I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the fact that dogs are treated much differently here than they are in America.  My natural reaction with dogs is to pet them and play with them.  The natural reaction here is to shoo them away, ignore them, or hit/kick them.  It’s sad and I don’t think I’ll ever really get used to it.  I’ve had to check my instincts several times as I’ve come close to having my hand bitten off when trying to pet some of the dogs here (this is on the rare occasion they don’t instantly run away from me instead).  A lot of people have dogs as pets, but I’ve found they’re often treated no differently than the soi dogs, or street dogs that you see wandering around everywhere – besides maybe the fact that they’re given food on a regular basis.  It hasn’t ceased to amaze me how unfriendly these dogs can be, and I don’t blame them given the way I’ve seen them treated.  I have run into a few friendly dogs and have really enjoyed the dogs that have lived at both of my host family’s homes.  The dog at my first homestay was afraid of me for several weeks and would always run away from me, but eventually I made friends with him and I’d like to think he was sad to see me leave (I was the only one that really paid attention to him and snuck him treats and showed him affection).  The dogs at my new homestay are friendly and always entertaining and warmed up to me in no time, which I love. 

One of the dogs at my host family's house

One of the things we were taught in PST is how to avoid dog bites.  I’ve realized over and over again why we covered this in our first week of training, because every time I ride my bike I’m chased by at least one dog (usually it’s 3 or 4 at a time though).  The water bottle attached to my bike has become the designated dog water bottle as I use it to squirt the dogs that don’t give up on chasing me and come dangerously close to taking a bite out of my leg (it also turned moldy on the inside from being neglected and left in the sun, and I refuse to try to clean it since I always have another bottle of water with me). 

To my delight I recently found what looked like a golden retriever puppy, and given how much I love golden retriever puppies I couldn’t help but want to steal him and make him mine.  I’m used to these puppies being overly friendly and licking my face to death.  When I tried to play with this puppy he ignored me and walked away.  When I tried to feed him pieces of my ‘chicken’, he grabbed it so harshly from me that he bit into my finger.  I was crushed that this cute little thing could do something like this to me, however I think it was less out of intent to harm and more due to overexcitement about whatever was in my hand.  The next day I reluctantly informed the PC medical staff, and as I suspected they told me to go to the hospital for a rabies shot (we were given 3 initial rabies immunizations during training).  Although it had been more painful than I would have imagined, the bite was small and I wasn’t really concerned about it at all, but there was still a small, miniscule chance that I could die from rabies, so I knew I should probably get the shots.  Everything was halted for the day as my supervisor, his driver, my counterpart and I all piled into my supervisor’s vehicle for the hour and a half trip to the nearest Peace Corps friendly hospital.  Why we needed 4 people for this I’m not sure, but we went, I got the first of 2 required shots, and then we went for steak and coffee before heading home.  I opted not to eat ‘steak’ as I knew it would only be a disappointment (as I’ve found out the hard way about many things I get excited about here….like ‘cheese’ or treats that look like cakes but also have a surprise filling of tuna, corn or beans).  I had to go back 3 days later for the second rabies shot.  Needless to say I’m even more careful around dogs I don’t know now.  As much fun as the rabies roadtrips were (I got a box of doughnuts out of the second rabies roadtrip – a gift from my supervisor’s wife, along with two meals – neither one of them ‘steak’ – and an assortment of fruit and other treats), I’d rather not do it all over again.

Dogs on a school bench during PST 

The one about weird stuff

One of the biggest concerns I had when arriving in Thailand was being able to fit in with the culture in terms of rules and norms and all that stuff.  I wanted to learn all the nuances of Thai culture so I could ‘fit in’ and not be just another offensive American.  I’ve learned a lot and would like to think I can successfully navigate my way through daily life in Thailand while respecting these cultural norms.  In addition to all this, I’ve noticed a lot of things that are so different from what I’m used to that they make me laugh, terrify me, and/or just confuse me.

Traffic laws:  I’d love to know what they are here (or if they exist).  Every time I get in the car to go somewhere I get scared for my life at least once – and this is coming from someone who spent the last 6 years driving in downtown Chicago.  Sure the main highways have lines on them, but they don’t mean anything.  Want to pass someone while oncoming traffic is present? No problem – just make sure you honk at them and/or flash your headlights so they know there’s potential for a head-on collision.  What if you happen to be the oncoming traffic and someone passing is heading straight for you?  Just make sure you swerve off the road giving them enough space to continue passing other cars – oh and don’t worry about the fact that motorbikes use the shoulder and often carry at least 4-5 people and sometimes have a driver that looks about 12 and have their own ways of breaking the non-existent traffic laws.  I would absolutely love to know the requirements for obtaining a license to drive in Thailand.

Naptime:  You know how so many adults complain that they’d love to have naptime implemented in the workplace for adults?  Well Thais love naps.  Naps are the solution for so many things.  Tired at work?  No problem – just lean back in your chair and rest your eyes for a bit.  It’s too hot?  Take a nap!  Just woke up and ate breakfast?  Sounds like it’s naptime!  There’s always time for a nap.  Thais also love hammocks, which are perfect for napping.

Public displays of hygiene:  Thai people will cover their mouth when they’re using a toothpick to get food out of their teeth but then pick their nose in front of a group of people with absolutely no shame.  Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy picking my nose as much as the next Thai person, I just don’t understand the discrepancies between covering a toothpick in your mouth and not covering a finger up your nose.

Farangs (foreigners):  My villages have a fair number of older white males living in them who are married to Thai women.  Whenever people see one of them while we’re at the market the following exchange tends to happen:

Thai person:  Mamie – farang!  Do you know him?

Me:  Nope – I don’t know him (I never look because I never know them)

Thai person:  But you are same same (referring to the fact that we’re both white)

I then try to segue into a discussion about how not all people who look the same are the same, and how people who look different can be similar.  They never seem very interested in this part – probably because my Thai version of this discussion doesn’t make much sense (and sometimes they’re just convinced we’re the same anyway).  Sometimes the person I’m with will go up to this other farang and ask him where he’s from (Norway, Australia, Italy, Germany – everywhere but America).  I guess this happens in America on a more subtle level (thinking all Asians are the same, for example, instead of distinguishing between Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc.), but this is the first time I’ve been on this side of things.

Literal meanings:  English has so many different ways of describing the same things.  Americans are too wordy.  Granted my knowledge of Thai language is still somewhat limited, but there are so many words that, literally translated, just make so much sense and make me think that Thai people are in fact very witty and clever.  A few examples:

Bathroom – hong naam (room water)

Bedroom – hong nawn (room sleep)

Ice – naam kaeng (water hard/strong)

Airplane – krueng bin (machine fly – this might be my favorite so far)

I’m convinced that these are the prime examples of why people say the Thai language is easy to learn (I also don’t believe those people).  Some of the most enjoyment I get here is reading the English on clothes.  My personal favorite was a t-shirt that was on a guy who was accompanying all the beauty contestants for the Songkran beauty pageant which said ‘sleep with me free breakfast’ in big bold letters on the front. 

On being subtle:  Thai people will be the first to tell you if something's amiss with your personal appearance.  Although there’s a lot that I still can’t understand, Thais seem to tell it like it is.  Gaining a little weight?  They’ll be the first to point it out.  Getting too tan?  You’re looking like a Thai, and that’s not really a compliment because Thai people look at pale white skin as being more beautiful (go down the beauty aisle in a store and almost everything you see will be advertised as ‘whitening’).  Mosquito bite on your arm?  They’ll tell you about it and touch it and ask if it hurts and tell you how red it is.   My host mom one day told me that in the mornings I look beautiful because my face and skin are white, but in the afternoons I don’t look beautiful because my face is red (usually after a good sweaty bike ride).  Sometimes it’s funny, but if you’re having a rough day and someone comes up to you and says you look fat today, it’s not so funny (well it still kind of is).  They’re also not shy about admitting to their most recent bout of diarrhea….or the foods that give them diarrhea….or asking if you have diarrhea.

Stereotypes:  You know how in America people sometimes assume that Black people are good at basketball and Asian people are really smart? Well Thai people assume I’m here to teach English (among other assumptions about being white).  While I have started teaching English at my office and plan to incorporate it a little into all my activities, I explain that I’m not actually here to teach English and plan to do youth development activities with teens – going into as much detail as my Thai allows.  They usually look a little confused, and then ask me when I can teach their children English.

I think this comprises a good list of things that I love/hate on any given day here.  Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s frustrating, sometimes it’s confusing…but it’s my life now, and it’s a little crazy. 

The one where everybody throws water (Songkran Festival)

Last week I got to experience my first Songkran festival, or Thai New Year.  I experienced my first taste of Songkran a week before it started…I was on an afternoon bike ride exploring yet another side road that led to another cluster of villages when I look ahead to see kids standing on the side of the road with hoses/buckets/water guns.  Luckily I quickly stuffed my camera and iphone into pockets where they wouldn’t get wet, because as soon as I rode by they attacked.  They laughed, I laughed, and it was awesome because it was so hot outside and it felt great. 

Songkran festival included a week off of work and a busy schedule full of celebrating.  My community started celebrating two days before the actual first day of Songkran, with a parade, beauty pageant, singing competion, a bunch of speeches I didn’t understand and more brightly colored, flowered shirts in one place than you’ve ever seen in your life.  Water is a huge part of the celebration as people pour water on each other all day long and kids wait by the side of the road with buckets and water guns to drench the 5-20 people riding by in the back of pickup trucks (sometimes the pickups have buckets of water in the back for retaliation as well).  After they drench you in water they put baby powder on your face (if you want to read more about Songkran check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Songkran_(Thailand)).   We made several trips to the local wats (temples) to pay respect to family members who have passed away by using plant branches and leaves to sprinkle water on their ashes/bones that are in little jars or containers in front of a bunch of monks.

Around the third or fourth day of Songkran I woke up cranky, determined to have a bad day.  I didn’t want anything to do with anything.  I accompanied a few community members to a gathering at a house where a few monks were surrounded by a bunch of people sitting on mats on the floor (side note: Thais sit on the floor a lot for a lot of things, and it’s pretty uncomfortable to do for long periods of time.  My feet and legs start to hurt and then fall asleep and then I have to try to adjust my sitting position periodically enough so that my legs don’t completely fall asleep.  One time I sat in one position long enough that my leg fell asleep and when I tried to stand up I couldn’t walk right for a few minutes and everyone got a good laugh at my attempts).  I went through the process of switching my seated position every so often while listening to what sounded like a mix between a song and a chant in Thai, wondering when I’d be able to stand up and sit in a chair again.  Then the songs stopped and all the Yais (grandmas) sitting around me took turns tying strings around my wrist and wishing me health, happiness, and good luck for the new year.  Needless to say my mood changed instantly as one by one they tied strings around my wrist, wishing the best for me and squeezing my arm and smiling at me.  Then we all ate a bunch of food and they busted out a few bottles of whiskey.  The men drank, the women danced, and the kids took to the streets armed with buckets, water guns, and buckets full of water. 

Overall I really enjoyed Songkran festival and was happy to be a part of so many different events in my community.  I wasn’t sad when it ended though, since that meant not changing my clothes a few times a day and being able to ride my bike again (they told me not to during the festival – lots of drunk drivers apparently, and Thai driving is scary enough as it is….I’ll save that topic for a later time).

My supervisor bought flowers and had me give one to each of the beauty contestants.

Dressed up in traditional Thai clothes after changing out of my wet ones

The water crew...with one still armed and ready while we take pictures.

Kids just up the street.

String ceremony

Dancing and karaoke! 

Turning on his own...this is also the little pistol I made cry a couple weeks ago.

Piling into the truck for a ride around the village...only to come back soaked. 

More water ceremonies at the Wat (temple).

Lots of blessings for the new year.

Brief water break for a snack.

The one where I made a kid cry

The phrase ‘good conversation’ has become a very relative one lately.  If I’m able to make it through any exchange in Thai, no matter what it’s about, I consider it a good conversation.  I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a few very interesting people since I’ve been here and have learned a lot in several actually good conversations with them (these people can all speak English fairly well, which has been great not only for my sanity, but because I can talk about things in addition to what I’m doing here, where I’m from and what I like to eat).  I’ve learned bits and pieces of the history of Thailand and the history of my community and surrounding area (the province I’m living in was only established as its own province in 1993, and is the second newest province in Thailand).  I’ve learned about Thai people and my community from the people who have lived and grown up here; I’ve also learned about some of the many realistic challenges I’ll face in the next two years.  I’ve been careful not to ask too many probing questions - with all of the other personal challenges that are presented on a daily basis I don’t want to focus on the potential barriers and become disheartened about the things I’ve come here to do before I even get started on them. 

 Last week I went to stay with another family in a neighboring village in my area.  I was excited because this family had a little boy about 6 years old, and while I love kids in general, I love playing with Thai kids – they’re so much easier for me to talk to, likely because they’re more on my language level.  I spent most of my time with him, and when it ended up storming so bad later in the evening that the power went out, he clung to me like a monkey and wouldn’t leave my side.  I had a couple small flashlights in my bag, so I got them out and we took turns making scary faces at each other while his parents set up candles so we could eat dinner.  The thunderstorm was awesome and was accompanied by a lightning show that went on nonstop for hours.  It was pitch black outside and the doors and windows were open – there was an amazing breeze outside, which was especially refreshing considering it’s so incredibly hot every day.  Having never experienced a thunderstorm blackout in rural Thailand before, I kept nervously glancing toward the open doors, slightly terrified that I’d see a scary man standing in the doorway with a knife/machete/bamboo stick, waiting to attack every time the lightning struck.  This was also the same night I experienced my first ‘bucket bath’.  I had opted to wait until before bed to shower, and as I walked into the bathroom with my flashlight to provide a little bit of light so I could see what I was doing, I regretted my decision to wait.  It wasn’t as bad as I imagined it…it’s kind of like a bath…but without sitting in the actual water…kind of.  One of our days of training included demonstrations on how to take a bucket bath along with how to use a squat toilet, and I was happy to have successfully experienced both of these so early in my PC experience (though I’m happy to have a ‘normal’ shower on a regular basis).  Unfortunately I’ve somehow gotten into a bad habit of forgetting to bring my towel into the bathroom with me when I shower, so I either end up getting dressed while wet (which I absolutely hate doing), or drying off with the parts of my dirty clothes that aren’t drenched in sweat (I’m pretty much perpetually dirty here, so that doesn’t really gross me out much).  The next day I went to the Local Health Station to get an idea of what goes on there and help with some home visits.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the home visits turned out to be much more than I bargained for as we were visiting a few very elderly people in the area to treat their bed sores.  Let’s just say there’s a reason I never actually wanted to go through with my fleeting childhood aspirations to become a doctor.  I had to put considerable effort into keeping my face expressionless while trying to look anywhere else but at pockets of bone and skin.  We ended up back at the health station where I recovered with one of the aforementioned really good conversations (in English).  Lunch that day consisted of a whole lot of food (as always) and about 20 people on a floating dock/restaurant.  I let the little boy I had spent the previous day with play with my iphone since there was a game on there he had quickly become obsessed with….eventually I took it away and told him he could play with it later when we got back to the health station since it was getting dangerously close to going in the lake.  What eventually followed was an epic tantrum.  Having noticed that this kid seems to get whatever he wants no matter what, I was determined to stand my ground no matter how loud he screamed.  As we made our way back to the health station in a car with 5 adults and 1 screaming child, I wondered if this was the best time to be trying to teach a lesson to this kid that’s not mine (but I was still determined to not back down and give him his way).  I wasn’t sure what the other adults in the car thought of the situation, or if I was breaking some sort of cultural rules/norms or just being a stupid American that won’t share her toys (although sometimes I really just don’t like sharing – I blame middle child syndrome).  They took the kid home and that was the end of that – I wasn’t sure if I should feel successful since I didn’t back down or terrible because I made a kid cry.  He eventually forgave me, as the next time I saw him he was the same clinging monkey I met the first time. 

I wish I could write about all the amazing work I’m starting here, but I haven’t really done anything yet.  My days consist of riding my bike to work, playing on the internet for a while (if it’s working…such a treat since I don’t have it at home), getting escorted to meetings where I listen to a whole lot of stuff I don’t really understand and then give a brief introduction/speech in Thai, going with my coworkers for a 2 hour lunch/coffee break, maybe coming back to the office for a bit (the internet seems to not work as well in the afternoon so I pretend to study Thai or something), then biking to wherever the local market is to hang out with my host mom and eat some fruit/shop.  Most of the day is spent confused, wondering what’s really going on or where I’m being taken.  This past weekend I set out on yet another bike adventure (my go to activity right now when I don’t have anything to do).  I took a small road near my house into the fields to see where it would go.  Eventually the dirt road turned into a paved one and led to what has become my favorite spot in my community – open fields with hills and mountains and a pretty amazing view.  I eventually made my way back to where I came from, but chose to continue on the paved ‘road’ instead of taking the dirt one right back to my house.  I figured it had to lead somewhere, and when I eventually ended up in a nearby village that had a road leading back out to the highway that I live on, I felt like I had actually accomplished something.  For about five whole minutes my life here made sense, and it was awesome.

I don't understand.

I’m finally home…or what I will call home for the next 2 years in the Esan region of Thailand.  After my 3 day site visit several weeks ago I wasn’t sure what to think (or even if I could live here for 2 years).  Coming here for good a couple days ago I had a new perspective and a bit more willingness to let go of my expectations and preconceived notions so I could really get a feel for my new home.  The first couple days have been a little bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing.  I have a new host family, which is comprised of just my host mom and her father.  My new home stay also has a washing machine and an air conditioned bedroom for me….ah the simple amenities that I had learned to live without but now have a whole new appreciation for…it’s really nice to have them for now.  The first day here I was told I have a 4 day ‘holiday’ - my supervisor is out of town for a few days, so he told me to take it easy and we’d start work on Monday.  A few hours after arriving at my new homestay I decided to go with my host mom to one of the markets to sell fruit…I figured I’d have plenty of time to settle in and thought this would be a great opportunity to start integrating into the community.  I was able to practice my Thai a little bit while my mom introduced me to everyone that came by and told them what I was doing here, even offering the information to people walking by that didn’t seem all that interested in hearing it.  I ate a lot of fruit and listened to a whole lot of conversations I didn’t understand.  The first night here I was greeted by a bat flying straight at my face when I turned the light on to go into my room.  My host grandpa was able to help me out and took the bat outside for me.  I found another, smaller bat a few minutes later (squeaking in the corner hiding on a stack of books) that he took out as well.  I can still hear bats squirming around in my ceiling every once in a while and I’m waiting for the day I wake up with one of them on my face.

My second day at site I thought I was going with my host mom to a cave in one of the small nearby mountains.  After breakfast I put on a t-shirt and workout pants, prepared to climb the 600 steps to get to the cave.  Before we left she was saying something to me that I couldn’t fully understand, but what I took from it was that we were going to the temple near the cave so I needed to be dressed appropriately, which included a shirt with full sleeves and longer pants (the ‘conversation’ included several gestures and a few select words of English she decided to throw in).  Not fully knowing what was going on and also not wanting to be dressed inappropriately, I changed my clothes.  We got to the temple/cave and my host mom explained that she was going to sit and sell fruit so I was free to walk around and explore (so much for thinking I knew what was going on…not the first or last time this will happen though.  This was also the moment I realized that the English words my host mom knows aren’t always correct, or used in the correct context).  I really wanted to explore, so I climbed the 600 stairs to get to the top…in long pants, a long sleeved shirt, and $3 flip flops I bought here at the grocery store in what felt like at least 100 degree heat….not the best attire for cave exploration, but it worked.  It was pretty awesome (and a little cooler once we got to the top and inside the cave).  After wandering around for a few hours I ended up going to have lunch at the Early Childhood School that was close by with a few of the women who work there (and a bunch of napping kids nearby).  I’m trying to be intentional about trying to remember names and faces and I’m sure it’s going to take a while.  It’d be nice to know everything that people are saying to me (and about me), and hopefully with time will come more understanding and language ability. 

I really thought I’d have a bit more anxiety with my first few days at site, but I’m happy to realize it’s not really there.  I’m excited to finally be in my community and be done with the 8-5 schedule of training we had during PST (pre-service training).  It’ll take time to get to know people and actually get projects started, but for now I’m just soaking it all in and doing whatever comes up with whoever comes along.  I’ve spent a lot of time on my bike, exploring and seeing what I can find.  Each time I can’t help but realize how amazing this experience is – how much I’ve already done and how much more I still have yet to do.  I’ve been in Thailand for almost 3 months now…really?  The longest I’ve been out of the country up until now was about 2 weeks.  The more language I learn the easier it gets and the more excited I am to learn more.  It’s definitely frustrating for me learning a new language and there’s so much I don’t understand, but when someone says something to me and I’m able to answer them, it’s awesome.  I’m anxious to meet everyone and get started with something amazing.  I know this will be a process and it could take some time before I’m able to really get started on something new, but I’m excited to learn along the way.

Two months in Thailand

I’ll be spending the next 2 years living and working in Northeast Thailand! I’ll be living in a small village in the province of Nong Bua Lamphu, fairly close to Laos (and about an 8 hour bus trip from Bangkok).  My site visit proved to be just another one of the awkward, confusing, scary and exciting moments that seem to be a part of everyday life now.  I met a lot of people, ate a lot of food, and didn’t understand a good portion of what people were trying to say to me in Thai (the fact that I understand anything still makes me incredibly happy on a daily basis…usually a very short lived victory until I’m lost again).  The weather was much cooler, which was awesome (70 degrees instead of 100 degrees) and definitely something I think I’ll appreciate during the ‘winter’ months.  Northeastern Thailand has its own dialect, so in addition to continuing to learn central Thai I get to start learning the northeastern dialect (which is apparently also spoken in Laos, so if/when I make trips across the border I’ll have no trouble communicating…hopefully).  The trip to and from site was an adventure in itself in some respects, especially considering it was the first time I’ve really traveled by myself in a foreign country.  I had a lot of new experiences along with a lot of unanswered questions (why is the music on Thai busses so obnoxiously loud? Why, on an 8 hour bus trip, did my bus stop about 20 times? Why do they feed me dinner as soon as I get on the bus? Why is the bus always so cold? What am I supposed to do when I get to the bus station in Bangkok at 4am?).  I have no doubt that the next couple years will be two of the most challenging (and hopefully most amazing) of my life.  I also hope to take full advantage of my vacation days and have some pretty amazing trips all over Thailand. 

I’ve started to feel at home here in our training villages and was surprised at how great it felt to come ‘home’ after our site visit.  I missed the place we’ve called home for the past 8 weeks and it was great to come back to something familiar (including host families that were anxious to hear about our visits and happy to have us ‘home’).  I distinctly remember my first night with my host family….it’s amazing how helpless you can feel when you can’t communicate verbally, despite the fact that there’s a million things to say…it’s also amazing how much you can communicate with someone without either one of you having a language in common.  I’m getting sad to leave after spending only 8 weeks here in this village with these people.  I’ve gotten into such a routine during training and I think the site visit served as another realization of just what I’m doing here – getting ready to live on my own in rural Thailand and try to figure out something amazing to do to benefit a community and people that I know next to nothing about. 

Before I left for the Peace Corps I remember reading so much about how the people that will be going through this with me are the people that will become like family.  In the first few weeks of training I wondered how I was ever going to find my place in this ‘family’, and also thinking that I can just do it on my own if all else fails.  Now we’re getting ready to go our separate ways in just a few weeks, and I’m amazed that the people who traveled here to Thailand with me about 2 months ago, that were all strangers, are now the people I rely on to discuss the fear and excitement of leaving for our sites and dealing with the dependable ups and downs of this whole experience.  I couldn’t imagine making so many new friends in such a short amount of time, and now I can’t imagine what I’ll do without these people that I’ve seen almost everyday since we arrived in Thailand.  I’ve also realized that without them I’m not sure I could get through this whole experience on my own.  It’s nice having family and friends back home that I can talk to who know me better than anyone, but it’s also incredibly comforting to have a new group of people that I can rely on that are going through many of the same crazy experiences and emotional traumas that seem inevitable.  In the next two weeks I’ll turn 29 years old and officially be sworn-in as a Peace Corps Volunteer.  I don’t really care much about getting older or the fact that I’ll soon be in the final countdown to being 30 (what!?), but I can’t imagine a better way to spend the last year of my 20’s.