I don't understand.

I’m finally home…or what I will call home for the next 2 years in the Esan region of Thailand.  After my 3 day site visit several weeks ago I wasn’t sure what to think (or even if I could live here for 2 years).  Coming here for good a couple days ago I had a new perspective and a bit more willingness to let go of my expectations and preconceived notions so I could really get a feel for my new home.  The first couple days have been a little bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing.  I have a new host family, which is comprised of just my host mom and her father.  My new home stay also has a washing machine and an air conditioned bedroom for me….ah the simple amenities that I had learned to live without but now have a whole new appreciation for…it’s really nice to have them for now.  The first day here I was told I have a 4 day ‘holiday’ - my supervisor is out of town for a few days, so he told me to take it easy and we’d start work on Monday.  A few hours after arriving at my new homestay I decided to go with my host mom to one of the markets to sell fruit…I figured I’d have plenty of time to settle in and thought this would be a great opportunity to start integrating into the community.  I was able to practice my Thai a little bit while my mom introduced me to everyone that came by and told them what I was doing here, even offering the information to people walking by that didn’t seem all that interested in hearing it.  I ate a lot of fruit and listened to a whole lot of conversations I didn’t understand.  The first night here I was greeted by a bat flying straight at my face when I turned the light on to go into my room.  My host grandpa was able to help me out and took the bat outside for me.  I found another, smaller bat a few minutes later (squeaking in the corner hiding on a stack of books) that he took out as well.  I can still hear bats squirming around in my ceiling every once in a while and I’m waiting for the day I wake up with one of them on my face.

My second day at site I thought I was going with my host mom to a cave in one of the small nearby mountains.  After breakfast I put on a t-shirt and workout pants, prepared to climb the 600 steps to get to the cave.  Before we left she was saying something to me that I couldn’t fully understand, but what I took from it was that we were going to the temple near the cave so I needed to be dressed appropriately, which included a shirt with full sleeves and longer pants (the ‘conversation’ included several gestures and a few select words of English she decided to throw in).  Not fully knowing what was going on and also not wanting to be dressed inappropriately, I changed my clothes.  We got to the temple/cave and my host mom explained that she was going to sit and sell fruit so I was free to walk around and explore (so much for thinking I knew what was going on…not the first or last time this will happen though.  This was also the moment I realized that the English words my host mom knows aren’t always correct, or used in the correct context).  I really wanted to explore, so I climbed the 600 stairs to get to the top…in long pants, a long sleeved shirt, and $3 flip flops I bought here at the grocery store in what felt like at least 100 degree heat….not the best attire for cave exploration, but it worked.  It was pretty awesome (and a little cooler once we got to the top and inside the cave).  After wandering around for a few hours I ended up going to have lunch at the Early Childhood School that was close by with a few of the women who work there (and a bunch of napping kids nearby).  I’m trying to be intentional about trying to remember names and faces and I’m sure it’s going to take a while.  It’d be nice to know everything that people are saying to me (and about me), and hopefully with time will come more understanding and language ability. 

I really thought I’d have a bit more anxiety with my first few days at site, but I’m happy to realize it’s not really there.  I’m excited to finally be in my community and be done with the 8-5 schedule of training we had during PST (pre-service training).  It’ll take time to get to know people and actually get projects started, but for now I’m just soaking it all in and doing whatever comes up with whoever comes along.  I’ve spent a lot of time on my bike, exploring and seeing what I can find.  Each time I can’t help but realize how amazing this experience is – how much I’ve already done and how much more I still have yet to do.  I’ve been in Thailand for almost 3 months now…really?  The longest I’ve been out of the country up until now was about 2 weeks.  The more language I learn the easier it gets and the more excited I am to learn more.  It’s definitely frustrating for me learning a new language and there’s so much I don’t understand, but when someone says something to me and I’m able to answer them, it’s awesome.  I’m anxious to meet everyone and get started with something amazing.  I know this will be a process and it could take some time before I’m able to really get started on something new, but I’m excited to learn along the way.