Application follow-up

I received an e-mail yesterday from a Placement Specialist in DC who had reviewed my application and requested a couple follow-up items (updated resume info and a youth questionnaire).  The questionnaire asked about why I wanted to do youth development; where I'm willing to go; when I can leave; what I'm willing to do without with regard to living arrangements (whether I can live without an indoor bathroom, electricity, away from other volunteers, etc - all of which I answered yes to...hopefully I won't come to regret that decision later).  It also asked about the top 5 challenges I expect to face, which really made me think seriously about how hard this is going to be (but also how amazing/rewarding).  The challenges I listed were definitely something to think about, but I think it's just another step of preparation in this whole process.  I had a moment of anxiety yesterday when I was completing this form...kind of a 'holy crap I'm thinking about living in another country with the possibility of not being able to pee in a real toilet with no electricity for 2 years' moment.  It's getting so real, yet still so far away.

I heard back right away after sending my updated information in and was told I would be contacted in the next week or two to discuss my application and the Peace Corps in general.  I'm hopeful that this conversation will lead to my formal invitation (everything I've read online indicates that this is like a final interview, reviewing suitability for a specific placement).  The mix of emotions is killing me...excitement, anxiety, fear, nerves.

I'm tired of people asking me where I'm going and when I'm leaving and having to answer with, I don't know.  I want to know where I'm going so I can start planning and making all these decisions that I have to deal with before I leave.  I could talk about this for hours. I can't wait.

Waiting...again.

I'm torn between the anxiety about wanting to receive my official invitation and the contentment of enjoying life as it is, knowing in a few months it could all change.  Usually when someone's nominated for PC service they are given a country and tentative departure date.  I was given one date and three countries.  Don't get me wrong, I'm excited at all three possibilities...but it's hard to think about each of them individually and not start to get my heart set on any particular choice. I still haven't told a great number of people about my potential departure.  I'm tired of anwering the questions of 'where are you going? when do you leave?', with just a simple I don't know. I have no idea.  Because in all the PC related blogs and internet sites I've read, they tell you anything can and will change right up until the day you leave.  So basically, I could be going somewhere completely different than where I was nominated to go, in a completely different month.  I daydream about leaving; where I'll go, what I'll be doing, how hard the transition might be. I can't count the number of times I've envisioned the day I leave in my head, saying goodbye to all things familiar. I'm anxious to leave but also have so many things I want to do before I go. I'm in transitional agony.